Passion…unbridled

Subconsciously I was going through life with blinders on

I am a reasonably good person, sensitive to discrimination, I reckoned

All humans are created equal I believe

I am outraged when discrimination I perceive

I am knowledgeable, having read extensively

About the Civil Rights Movement and Black History

Or, so I would think…

I lived in general oblivion until I was brought to the brink

Of being forced to look at discrimination outrageous

And I realized my mind had been quite impervious

To racial profiling, micro and macro- aggressions

I suddenly become aware of my flawed impressions

You must find it ironic because I happen to be

A woman of color, in a minority

No stranger to micro-aggressions, I was still regrettably

Oblivious to what my fellow human-beings face daily..

 

***

I deeply regret that the eye-opener for me

Had to be events of such magnitude in tragedy

I am saddened by the state of affairs

And now trying my best to be self-aware

Of the subconscious racial biases that pervade

Many interactions around me, and invade

The souls of those who discrimination face

At every step, in twisted, warped ways

They carry their burdens within, they do not need

To bear the burden of creating racial awareness indeed

To support them, we need to rip apart the fabric

Of our social norms- we need changes drastic

Starting from identifying biases we carry within

Bring to surface all assumptions hidden

Then look around with open eyes and an open mind

Prepared to be dumbstruck by what we find……

 

 

Social distancing is taking its toll

On almost everyone, because we all

Are social creatures, we thrive

On interactions with our tribe..

It is much harder for many of us

Who tend to be more gregarious

Then there are some, just like me

Who want to crawl into obscurity

Each time large crowds we have to face

We fiercely guard our personal space…

**

While the reason behind sheltering in place

Is one that none of us would want to face-

I must admit some aspects of quarantine

Quite comfortable for me have been

Cooped up in the shell of my home, I find

Myself more comfortable in body and mind

Attending dinners and social events is not

My cup of tea, I have always fought

The urge to make an excuse and decline

Such invitations- you cannot lure me with free wine

I am  glad these days the pressure to attend

Any events in person is non-existent…

In professional and personal life these days

Grooming and presentation matter in so many ways

Trying to approach perceived standards is hard for me

Meeting on online platforms is, by comparison, easy

Pre-pandemic, I had craved for solitude

Now I am content to stay away from multitudes…

**

In a world that values sociability

I have often felt like an anomaly

But these days it does not hurt

To be less sociable, be an introvert

While many meet on zoom and plan away

I am content in my company all day..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(This poem reflects the sentiments of a migrant laborer who is trying to go home amid the lockdown in India.)

I know the world is facing a huge crisis, I understand

I was educated not in a school but on the streets of this land

And on the streets I am left to somehow fend

For myself- I never did intend

To not work- I am the unseen, forgotten laborer

Behind the country’s newly acquired glitter

Now that the sheen has been wiped away

By this coronavirus, I am left to struggle each day

I get it- you cannot build malls and villas right now

But what am I to do when the lockdown does not allow

Earning an honest living in this city that was supposed to be 

A haven for the poor, uneducated migrant workers like me

What am I to do, stranded alone without food, money or work-

I must return to the fields of my village- labor I do not shirk..

For if nothing else, my family is there

Maybe we can stretch the food from that tiny hectare

Of land for all of us- we are resourceful that way

But how do I get there in this lockdown today?

**

We at the bottom of the ladder already view

The world in a fatalistic way- the concepts are not new

Of hunger, disease and death, yet in desperation

Like you- we want to turn to our families for consolation

While people living abroad are brought back in planes

We have no transportation to alleviate our pain

**

I had heard this virus does not discriminate

It has affected the rich, it has affected heads of state

But, like every other calamity that has hit us before

The indigent like us are left shaken to the core

It’s not death that I fear, I think I can face

Death with more equanimity than others in this place

But dying in this city, where I was already trudging half-dead

Is difficult to contemplate- I will go where my life is, instead

I hope against hope a homebound train I shall find

Until then I’ll walk- I have made up my mind

Death is all around, what difference would it make eventually

If I  jump from a frying pan to a fire actually…

 

Image courtesy: https://www.shutterstock.com/image-illustration/covid19-pandemic-3d-india-lockdown-quarantine-1697131006)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.”

-Abraham Lincoln

Had heard all along but never comprehended

Take life one day at a time, this advice was intended

For people to focus on things they valued each day

This felt too sanctimonious to follow, I must say..

Planning career moves, children’s education, investments

Require looking into the future, making calculated assessments

 

**

Who knew times would change and we would be

In the thick of a pandemic, a time fraught with uncertainty

What the future holds for all of us is unknown

What we have is an unsettling present alone..

The best laid plans for this year have evaporated in thin air

Trying to think about the future only causes further despair

**

I came to the conclusion, though with some reluctance

That the only way to live through these times with some semblance

Of sanity is to take life as it comes, day by day

To be grateful for life, family and health as we pray

For a better future, built on lessons learnt

From the pandemic, for we have been burnt

By our need to plan, predict, manipulate

The vagaries of nature, to depreciate

The importance of all non-human elements

In our lives, so proud had we become of our establishments…

**

I celebrated today, tomorrow remains unseen

What a beautiful day yesterday’s tomorrow has been!

Art is not always about pretty things. It’s about who we are, what happened to us, and how our lives are affected.

– Elizabeth Broun

When fear has become the emotion dominant

When uncertainty surrounds us, omnipresent

When answers to questions do not exist

When on the narrowest sliver of hope we subsist

When physical space we find in constraint-

There is only one way out- to give free rein

To imagination, to try to get the mind and soul immersed

In art- the medium of freedom in this dystopian universe..

**

One could create, one could simply admire

Art in different forms could serve to inspire

Millions who are hurting, unable to give expression

To the swarming plethora of emotions

When ordinary language fails to convey

Innermost feelings, art provides a beautiful way

To express, and to preserve that expression

For posterity- one day there would be a compilation

For future generations to study to understand

How this pandemic changed the lay of the land…

**

Whereas science will lead us to a vaccine or a cure

For the virus itself- art, I think, will enable us to endure

The emotional burden that the pandemic has placed

On humankind as we fight a war never before faced…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I had thought..

 

Since this was a crisis so large in magnitude

Spread throughout the world, affecting multitudes

The world would have no choice but to fight

The enemy as one, countries would be forced to unite

Race, religion, borders this enemy does not respect

Humankind everywhere is reeling from its cataclysmic effect

When solving this conundrum seemed to be a goal for all

Naïvely I thought- united we would stand, divided we would fall…..

 

***

I now see…

 

A world polarized, a world divided

Faith being placed in messages misguided

Finger-pointing more rampant than ever before

The Virus has exposed our differences to the core

Instead of the society being unanimously galvanized

To fight the pandemic, in an era of being hyper-globalized

We are choosing to divide ourselves by our beliefs

Trying to place blame somewhere for a false sense of relief

In this era of unprecedented connectivity

We are discovering our predilection for selectivity…

***

 

It saddens me to see the world so divided today

The clear stream of reason seems to have lost its way

Being a physician I see that the crisis we now face

Is a challenge to our species, the entire human race

This is a war, and how many wars were won

By creating internal rifts, was there even one?

By sharing research findings, experience, expertise

Through every possible medium, to treat this formidable disease-

Scientific communities are united in their fight

Humbly I suggest from them we gain insight

As societies and nations- forget our differences, forget about blame

We are all afraid, we are all hurting, we are all the same..

Thirsting for adventures is a natural state

All of us like new experiences on our plate

Time, effort and money we spend

Beyond our comfort zones ourselves we extend

To get that elusive thrill, that unparalleled elation

That sense of accomplishment, that victorious sensation

Also, since keeping up with the Joneses is a part

Of our social lives, such experiences make for a good start

Of conversation at gatherings of (frenemies)/ friends

Help us stand out while we try to blend…

***

All the experiences and adventures that were in the cards for the year

Were rudely interrupted by the spread of the virus; suddenly our spheres

Instead of expanding, shrank to a size unprecedented

Our ability to move about had never to this extent been prevented…

All the places we were supposed to go to, the “classes”we were supposed to take

Became figments of imagination, as lives and livelihoods came at stake…

***

I must admit, at the start of the year 2020

I had laid out my plans in detail, anticipating new experiences a-plenty

Like everyone else I was in for a rude shock

As access to every adventure was blocked

The adrenaline rush I had to come to rely on

Was nowhere to be found, the thrill of exploration was gone…

***

Like the rest of the world I’ve had to learn

To forego the freedom for which I yearn-

Confined to my house, I combed through

Neglected spaces and corners, that appeared new

Embarked on an adventure to redecorate-

Surprised myself at being able to rejuvenate

Spaces without buying knick-knacks new

Who would have thought this was an exciting thing to do?

Found previously unknown gems in my backyard

Camped under the stars-finding adventures suddenly did not seem hard

Adventurous were my escapades culinary

Experimenting with everything from cakes to curry..

***

Maybe this is part of a cosmic design

Maybe the universe is giving us a sign

That in our thirst for adventure, far we have strayed

From home-from the journey of life we’ve been waylaid

Home is for the soul a resting place

Home is our reflecting surface….

***

Staying home has grounded me

(Both literally and figuratively)

My restless soul that had adventures sought in places new

Is resting at home, with newly discovered equanimity too

Stay at home and shelter in place-

How do you follow this advice when you face

Lack of a solid roof over your head

When home is a makeshift shelter instead?

**

We had already tempted fate by staying alive

We had learnt to be grateful, having survived

Civil war, strife, journeys with dangers fraught

To live precariously, ourselves we had taught

**

In camps with conditions less than ideal we stay

Relying on the strength of human connections every day

When the piercing wind chills our bones at night

The warmth of our loved ones gives us respite

Resources are scarce; the little we have we share

Truth be told, we exist because for each other we care..

**

This virus is coming, to add, I must say

Insult to injury for us in every way

Being refugees has left us in a state

Where it is impossible to separate

The advice to wash hands often is futile

There is no running water around for miles…

**

Fear of disease spread grips me, but then

I realize that compared to most women and men

We are already a group selected by fate

Being resilient is probably our quality innate

We have weathered many storms and stayed alive

God willing,  this trial by fire we shall survive..

 

(Image source: https://www.thenewhumanitarian.org/feature/2020/04/21/Lebanon-coronavirus-refugee-healthcare: Ali Hashisho/REUTERS)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My precious child, in you I see

The vivacious child I used to be

Your ebullience and curiosity

Are reminders of the younger me

You have a spring in your step and hope in your eyes

You are carefree- I am cautious and worldly-wise

When did I stop being like you, I wonder

Was growing up to be an adult but a blunder?

**

You teach me valuable lessons, you remind me

Of how little is needed to be content and carefree

As I marvel at you, fear grips me suddenly

What if you grow up to be just like me?

What if you start listening to the noise around

What if you find your inner voice drowned?

**

As I say this I also realize

I’m probably teaching you to see the world with my eyes

My unrealized dreams, my insecurities- I fear

Might percolate into your conscience, my dear

The thought terrifies me I confess

My inner conflict should be for me alone to process…

**

You will probably end up imbibing more

From me than I want, thus I need to make sure

The inner dialogue that runs through my mind

Remains here, your inner voice does not find..

To do that; I think, while you learn from me

I should learn from you simultaneously-

To live in the moment, live without pretense

To do what the heart desires, with confidence

That things will turn out all right in the end

And probably even better than we intend..

 

Freedom these days is a word that incites

Anger, concern, despair- it is a fundamental right

And in the face of a challenge never before seen

The operational word suddenly is quarantine…

**

While personal liberties restricted appear

I, paradoxically, feel free amid this fear

As the world grapples with illness and death

As millions struggle to catch their breaths

The weight of expectations that I was supposed to carry

Has been lifted, therefore I feel free

**

Social obligations that felt burdensome 

No longer exist- though missed by some,

Make an introvert like me less stressed

There is no pressure to be well-dressed

Or to societal standards of beauty try to conform

With more time on hand I can perform

My work more efficiently, it is true

With more time at hand, a lot more I can do

Freedom of time- a luxury once craved by me

I have found, albeit temporarily

I am free to think, to ponder, to dream

Something that until recently did difficult seem..

In a world united by a common fight

There’s no one to impress, no need to prove myself right

My authentic self I have discovered again

This social isolation has led to personal gain

**

When the nightmare ends, life will be

Definitely altered irrevocably

When social distancing goes away

And the freedom of movement comes our way

I hope to carry some lessons forward

The things I’ve realized during this period-

The weight of expectations from the society

Is only burdensome if you let it be

I hope in the future I shall stay

As free in spirit as I am today..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Never imagined a worldwide catastrophe would be the cause

Behind my accelerated life stepping on brakes; taking a pause….

**

I hurtled through life in a frenzied spiral of chaos

Overscheduled, overstimulated, but always at a loss

To comprehend where time seemed to fly

I was always left wondering why

I constantly felt I was not measuring up

Half-empty always stayed my cup..

**

My fast-paced life was a combination

Of societal norms and my own ambition

The pressure to perform was deeply drilled

Every waking minute of my life had to be filled

With activity of some sort, perceived as constructive

Sleep was optional, it interfered with being productive

**

Then the tsunami hit us in an unprecedented way

Social distancing became the motto of the day

With avenues for travel and entertainment depleted

Even in the midst of crippling fear deep-seated

I found myself in the possession of a luxury rare

I had more time for myself, more time to share

Precious moments with my family than ever before

The forced confinement shook my outlook to the core..

**

Even with a constant undercurrent of fear these days

My life has improved significantly in many ways

The pace has slowed down, priorities have acquired

The kind of clarity that I have always desired

The devastating pandemic has brought in sharp relief

The truly important things, shattering my beliefs

The need to slow down, I had recognized deep inside 

Now I have executed it, I say that with pride..

**

When the pandemic is over I hope I stay

True to the principles I learnt along this way..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Anthropocene: the current geological age, viewed as the period during which human activity has been the dominant influence on climate and the environment.)

We had created the anthropocene

Become oblivious of threats unseen

Things dangerous, we thought, could only be

Products of human ingenuity

We did pay quite a bit of attention

To the devastating power of nuclear weapons

Lofty beings that we considered ourselves to be

We pondered over differences in ideology

When climate change created ripples in our lives

We were still confident in our ability to survive…

**

In our collective self-centeredness, we thought

To the rest of the living world, vulnerable we were not

Humankind was not prepared for the day

When the smallest living particle, lacking its own DNA

Would rule the world, bringing our lives to a standstill

Spreading fear far greater than a tyrant could instil

At first we found it difficult to comprehend

The magnitude of the threat, we were so confident

That an infectious disease in the twenty-first century

Could not disrupt our lives, epidemics were history..

**

We are learning to modify our behavior

To the vagaries of the virus, our current master

We’ve traveled back in time, through many a century

When mortals feared nature unleashing its fury

This virus crept up on us insidiously

Laying bare our dormant vulnerability

**

Yet, we are living in the anthropocene

And while the future remains unseen

With our ingenious minds working in overdrive

We have launched a war in order to survive

Many pestilences we have endured

Many fatal diseases we have cured

Eventual victory we shall claim

But our lives won’t remain the same…

**

When the war is fought and won

To the drawing board we shall need to return 

And redesign our lives, cognizant

Of the profound value of our environment.

 

(Image source: The Roanoke Times)