Passion…unbridled

“Cure sometimes, treat often, comfort always.” – Hippocrates

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I know you are here in my clinic today

Looking for relief- even before you say

Something, I know you are in pain

I hate to disappoint you again

The unfortunate truth is; as a specialist of the heart

I am not quite prepared to treat another body part

Your legs hurt, you tell me, and I have ruled out

Every heart-related cause I could think about

I know that I am going to make you feel

Worse by giving you my usual spiel

About the benefits of exercise on your heart 

Forgoing that advice at present would be smart

Infact, when you ask for pain medication, I have an excuse

Pain-killers make heart failure worse, so I refuse

To give you relief from the symptom that bothers you

At least your heart disease is stable, that much is true..

**

 

You and I,  both leave the examination room dissatisfied

Your pain persists, I’ve taken a blow to my pride

How I wish you had symptoms with which I could deal

Or have a solution to your problem somehow revealed

It bothers me much more than I am willing to admit, I confess

My failure to alleviate your suffering overshadows any success

That I have had today- because I could offer to you

Neither cure, nor treatment, nor comfort today- it’s true

I am a specialist with years of training behind me

In treating  afflictions like yours, I should have mastery…

Yet at my ignorance I am humbled again

I send a silent prayer heavenward for relief of your pain.

(Image source: wikimedia commons)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the break that I clearly need-

She said to herself, settling down to read

An interesting book in a cosy corner

Of her hotel room, she had left behind her

The mayhem of her life as a homemaker,

A busy career woman, and a mother..

Teetering at the edge of a major burnout

She had sought refuge here, without

Telling her family why and where

She had gone, of course she did take care

To let them know she would be gone for a day

She needed a break, and there seemed no other way..

**

Her mind, however, conditioned to place

The needs of her family first, had difficulty making space

For the idea of snatching away from her family

A day for herself- she found it difficult to be guilt-free

Checking into a hotel for a night all alone

Was something she still couldn’t believe she had done

She worried if her precious children were all right

Without her being at home to tuck them in at night

Although this escape she had justified to herself before

This was a selfish move- said a voice she could not ignore..

**

While she tried to relax, still feeling conflicted

She received a text message, at first she resisted

Looking at it, afraid that something at home 

Was not quite right- but finally picked up the phone-

“Carpe diem!” the text from her husband said

That everything was fine at home came in another text

Relieved, she put all her worries aside

She would seize the day, and go for the ride

Today was the day, her rare chance to unwind

To rejuvenate her tired body and mind.

 

 

 

 

She walked in hurried steps, furtively

After having lied, out of habit, glibly

About the bruise visible on her forearm-

No one could know about the bodily harm

Inflicted on her most days by her spouse-

This shameful secret belonged inside the house

They were educated, liberal and well to do

It was universally accepted as true

That such things did not happen in the society

That she inhabited, everyone behaved with propriety..

Beneath skilful make-up,  tasteful scarves and  long sleeves 

Her secret was safely ensconced, or so she believed

Besides, she was clumsy at times, this could not be tolerated

By an important person like her husband, who berated

Her for falling short of his expectations every day

It was her fault after all, she had nothing in her defence to say

 

**

This time things had gone too far

The abuse had left more than just a scar

Her facial bones were fractured; with a deformed face

To hide her injuries, she had no place

Seeing the ER nurse’s expression she realized

Her shameful secret was revealed to public eyes

Within minutes she was seeing a counselor who specialized

In domestic abuse- even this professional was surprised

That she had escaped attention for so long-

What she had been tolerating was far too wrong..

**

It was not easy to stand up to her abuser

At times courage threatened to leave her

With help from a strong group of women

She fought for her rights, and made a decision

To leave the abusive relationship before it was late

She learnt to believe she could have better fate

Today she works for victims of domestic abuse

Her experience she has put to good use

Abuse hides in plain sight, she knows

She strives to release women from its throes.

 

(Image source: http://thesanctuaryinc.com/d-v/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some days my dreams are

Vast, stretching far

Beyond the horizon, bursting

With ambition, my soul thirsting

For fame, fortune, grandeur-

Some days these things hold their allure

Enticing me- I run in their pursuit

Until my mind makes an observation astute

That they are dreams, improbable it might be

For them, the light of the day to see..

***

Some days when I am lonely

In my dreams I just long to be

Surrounded by love and laughter

Familial bonds are what I lust after

I dream of my family being in the same place

Not separated in time and space..

Though this dream is not as rich in ambition

The idea of one big happy family is still utopian..

***

Some days my dreams shrink some more

Swathed in exhaustion, my limbs feeling sore

Constantly running on the hamster wheel

My senses are blunted, benumbed I feel

All I can dream of is a pillow to sleep

In a dreamless slumber, a sleep so deep

It erases all vestiges of consciousness

I wake up rested, and then- I confess-

My dreams take the expansive route again

I start chasing them once more, often in vain..

(Image source: theartsherpa.com)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear daughter, let me tell you

So that you can see through my lens too

The story of my life spanning two continents

I’ll share with you my innermost sentiments

I came to this country as a young bride

Apprehensive, with your father by my side

A sheltered existence I had led until then

Never been outside my state- like many women

Going to college on a bus was the only adventure

I had ever been a part of, I had never ventured

Alone beyond my college and my home

The streets were not meant for girls to roam

I learnt about the world in the college library

Ambition was not expected to be in my vocabulary

Though sometimes about travel I did fantasize

I never let improbable dreams cloud my eyes…

**

When marriage to your father was arranged

The remarks I heard from people ranged

From those of jealousy to those of condemnation

At the prospect of setting up home in a different nation

I was excited and afraid in equal measure

I “practiced” an American accent with pleasure

In anticipation of the move to the enchanted land

This was a big adventure for me, you may understand

**

Settling in a small town in the suburbia where

I felt so different that I could not dare

To venture out in my impractical sarees-

Wearing Indian clothes I did cease

This forced array into Western attire

Pushed me on the step to assimilation higher

Then I learnt to drive, a giant step, I would say

Towards freedom that came day by day

In the midst of this I learnt to substitute

New foods that resembled the food of my roots

I missed home terribly, yet I was aware

I had much more freedom, the balance was fair

With no one to tell me how to behave or what to do

I was free to reinvent myself too..

**

Free from societal obligations, with time on my hands

I tried to revive my old passions in this new land

My love for art combined with the need to express

Helped me create some good pieces, I must confess

The longing for home a crucial part did play

In my art- I doubt things would have turned out this way

If I had been at home, I might not have been inspired

I might have been too busy to do what my heart desired

**

I did not reach the place at which I am today

Without trials and tribulations along the way

Now I showcase my work in galleries

Displaying my Indian heritage, wearing sarees…

My daughter, I still consider this freedom to create

Art at my whim, a privilege awarded by fate..

**

I see you know, raised very differently from me

With a plethora of choices, you are completely free

To do what you want- I know you long to be

A violinist par excellence, and I shall see

That you get the best training available here

Yet the one thing I want you to remember, dear

Your strongest feelings translate into the best art

So, today, on your first solo recital, just play from the heart..

**

Remember, if I could achieve success beyond my imagination

You are bound to taste it, with your grit and ambition!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Excited and nervous she was in equal measure

To deliver a lecture that had cut into her time of leisure

She had prepared her first talk with great attention

To detail, meticulously she had made her slide presentation

Spent hours in research, added vignettes carefully curated

On each point, she had over hours deliberated

College students tended to have a short span of attention

She knew, thus adjusted her content for their comprehension

As the day approached, she felt increasingly confident

That her lecture would be received well by most students.

 

She was newly minted in her formal role as a teacher

An unexpected fate awaited her as she walked in to deliver

Her lecture- there were only a handful of souls in sight

Nevertheless she tried to look on the side bright

At least the ones present looked vaguely interested

Hopefully they understood how much she had invested

Of herself in this lecture, knowing that first impressions

Often last, and would set the tone for further sessions..

 

Despite the dismal attendance she proceeded

As the lecture progressed, her confidence receded

No one was interested in what she had to say,

So it seemed to her- she was ready to call it a day.

She managed to finish, her eyes glistening with tears

At what was an obvious failure, exposing all her fears..

 

That was a day forty plus years ago

She is reminiscing over the pain of that blow

Today she is about to be felicitated

Her retirement is being celebrated

She has had a long and illustrious career

As an educator, a talented teacher

Unlike the first day her lectures now

Manage to run out of room somehow

To accommodate all those who throng to hear

Her pearls of wisdom, year after year…

Since her first day as a teacher, a long way she has come

The ideal teacher she wanted to be, she has become..

(image source:https://www.quotemaster.org/boring+lectures)